How Pain, Fear, and Intimidation words are used by ‘trainers’ to shame, guilt, and demonize dog owners.
‘Shock collars are evil,’ ‘Prong collars are abusive,’ ‘Slip leads choke dogs’ (the list goes on). We’ve all heard it—from a friend, co-worker, family member, veterinarian, or even a random person on the street. And let’s not forget about the deluge of propaganda spread by a portion of the online dog training world that unequivocally states that the use of this equipment will create an aggressive dog and destroy your relationship with them.
This article is for every dog owner who correctly uses training tools and has had to face an awkward conversation or interaction from someone who believes that our approach is rooted in pain, fear, and intimidation. My goal is to rationally address these misconceptions and show that the emotional shaming often aimed at tool users—whether it’s e-collars, prong collars, slip leads, or muzzles—is not only misguided, but a failure to understand the reality of dog training. The reality is that dogs are not people. They do not learn or respond the way we do, and to treat them as if they do (i.e., anthropomorphizing) is to miss the beauty and complexity of what makes a dog, well, a dog. While we have domesticated wolves and altered their anatomy and dependency on humans, we have not changed the way they perceive the world or learn from it. For instance, the most obvious difference between us is how we greet one another—humans shake hands, while dogs sniff each other’s butts. Meanwhile, many popular dog trainers online project a closed ideology, fueling their desire for control over the well-meaning, but often uninformed, dog-owning community. They promote training practices based on emotional appeals—pain, intimidation, and fear—while guilt-tripping owners into thinking they are “monsters” for using certain tools on their dogs.
Now, I will use their own language—the very terminology of pain, fear, and intimidation—to break down what they get wrong, what they get right (for the wrong reasons), and the uncomfortable truths their anti-tool agenda refuses to acknowledge. Because if they truly understood these concepts, their entire worldview would come crashing down.
Disclaimer: If you want to train without using certain tools (slips, prongs, e-collars), I fully support your training journey. This blog will also not be the most scientific or comprehensive guide on why using all four quadrants of Skinner’s theory of operant conditioning is the most effective way to train a dog. Loads of positive reinforcement and managing environments are the best ways to teach dogs new behaviors and manage the early training stages. However, it will address the common refrains of people who think that if you use a tool, you are a Stone Age Neanderthal who wants to wound an innocent creature while laughing diabolically.
PAIN
I believe that trainers and others who demonize the use of tools (tools here refer to any training collar that can be used for negative reinforcement or positive punishment—slip leads, prong collars, e-collars) love this word because it’s easy to say, “pain = bad/mean/terrible.” They never mention there are levels of pain, otherwise known as discomfort, because they are writing the narrative that correcting a known behavior using a tool is on par with body-slamming the dog or kicking them with an iron boot. Pain is a necessary part of life for both humans and dogs. Pain/discomfort tells us something. A pulled muscle tells us we need to rest it. Pain tells the hand on a hot stove to move now, or it will get worse. People and dogs will do a lot to avoid pain, and that’s why using tools correctly is a great way to influence the suppression or extinction of certain behaviors. The goal of the tool is to help a dog understand that the choices they make have certain consequences. Some are good, and some don’t feel good. Since dogs don’t have the ability to understand human reasoning or the benefits of certain actions using spoken language, we must speak in terms they can understand. Dogs do understand discomfort and pain, and the magic of training is teaching them how to remove the discomfort in favor of something motivating (play, praise, food). This is how we effectively communicate our version of right and wrong.
For the purposes of this topic, I’ll just leave it at this: humans have the responsibility to control most behaviors of our dogs for their safety and the safety of those in the community, as well as other dogs. It’s our duty as dog owners to show them right and wrong and do so safely and effectively. The goal is not to need to use the tool every moment of the day. If that is the case, we’ve done a bad job teaching the dog what behavior we wanted from them.
As mentioned, there are levels to pain (bruised knee < broken leg), and I would describe 95% of the corrections good dog trainers provide as discomfort. It doesn’t feel good, but it doesn’t reach the level of physical pain. The other 5%, which could be classified as pain, is to keep them from further hurting themselves or someone/something else.
If you hold the view that zero pain or discomfort should exist in your dog’s life, you are not only sheltering them from the real-life experiences this beautiful and broken world has to offer, but you would also physically harm them as well. No vaccines from the vet because needles hurt, no blood draws to check for illness/disease, no exams that cause discomfort, no nail clippings from the groomer because touching feet isn’t comfortable, no playing with other dogs because they play with their mouths (aka teeth), and it won’t feel good at times. If you’re okay with those pains but not the mostly mild discomfort from tools, then you’re just stuck in an ideology. And I haven’t even mentioned the mental anguish a dog experiences living in a closed home because some behaviors cannot be fixed with positive reinforcement alone.
The tool demonizers intentionally make the case for the banishment of tools while failing to talk about the pain of that implementation. Tools help communicate on recall, reactivity, and leash pulling. Recall from running into the road, where the pain of being hit by a car could occur. Reactivity on leash that creates a fight with another dog and the pain from those bites. The pain of being pulled over by your dog, causing injuries. A world without tools will create a lot of pain, and I argue that the pain from the fallout is larger and more harmful than the discomfort/pain from the proper use of a tool.
Pain is a fact of life. Pain tells us something. Pain produces a change in behavior that can be lifesaving. Good trainers use this to teach dogs that certain behaviors create discomfort and should be avoided, while simultaneously teaching them the other behaviors that get rewarded. This is balance. This is living.
FEAR
This is perhaps my favorite one. First, in every mammalian species, fear is not only a powerful motivator—it is a very necessary emotion to keep us from danger and push us toward safety. We don’t run into the lion’s den because of the healthy fear we have of the potential outcome of harm. Without the fear mechanism, both dogs and humans might do the irrational thing that causes real pain or, God forbid, death. Dogs live in a world created by humans. Therefore, dogs do not inherently understand what they should have a healthy fear of. It is our job to train them.
The purely positive trainers will tell you that fear is what will happen to your dog if you use corrections in training. Your dog will be afraid of you. Let’s break this down through a human’s perceptions of fear. If you are beaten up by the high school bully, you will avoid their presence and be scared in close proximity. This is how they describe the use of tools. But here’s the thing PP folks miss: correcting a dog in training for ignoring a known command is not indiscriminate. It’s applying the consequence for rejection of a known behavior. There might/should be fear of a known consequence—that’s why you don’t go around assaulting people who are rude to you in public, because of the known consequence of a forceful arrest and imprisonment. Healthy fears of consequences for actions keep the peace.
We teach dogs that the word “no” carries a consequence—sometimes in the form of removal of something they want (negative punishment). Other times, we apply discomfort that a dog knows how to turn off or escape (negative reinforcement). Sometimes we will apply a tool to negate the occurrence of a certain behavior (positive punishment). Applying consequences is a tiny portion of teaching a dog, and it’s loaded with tons of positive reinforcement, love, and care. This is why dogs will not fear you for the use of a tool. It will not fracture your relationship. It will actually strengthen your bond because there will be clear delineations of right and wrong. There is comfort in knowing the rules and outcomes. Sentient beings need to have healthy fears. Fear keeps us alive. Fear helps us understand the consequences of the world. We are the provider, home, and comfort for our dogs’ needs. We teach them what to do with fear and how to find safety.
The tool deionizer’s promote their own version of fear and enjoy spreading it. They want to use the fear of guilt and ostracization to keep others from using tools that help dogs and their families. The fear of stigmatization and being labeled evil because of your choice of training tools. The fear of destroying the wonderful relationship with your dog. You could say this is classic fearmongering designed to exert control over what’s best for you and your dog. Their power is created through fear. Do not be afraid.
INTIMIDATION
We’ve all heard this word thrown around in a lot of contexts. This is another emotive word that is patently ignorant when it comes to the use of tools in dog training. The verb “intimidate” is to ‘frighten someone (dog in this case) especially to make them do what one wants.’ Being the person who applies the consequence to certain actions of our dog is not inherently frightening to the dog. For that to be true would be to ignore the loving, dynamic, and deep relationship beneath the tool application. There are days, weeks, and months of praise, affection, playtime, food, and safety in everyone’s relationship with their canine. Applying the occasional tool correction for rejection of known behaviors will not suddenly turn you into a scary monster in the eyes of your dog.
At times, my 6’1” 230-pound frame may intimidate my 4-year-old as I approach him and bend down to his eye level after he has broken a rule. He knows the rule was broken and knows there is a consequence to the action. And each consequence must be effective in order to reduce the likelihood of the behavior continuing. For my son, it may be taking his bike away for riding in the street unsupervised (negative punishment). For my dog, it might be applying an e-collar stimulation after ignoring my first recall out of the same road (negative reinforcement). These consequences are not intended to be intimidating. That also doesn’t mean the recipient won’t feel a bit of intimidation in the moment. But after that quick moment has passed, they will also feel an abundance of love, security, and comfort in knowing all the rules and the consequences of not following them. Kids and dogs alike need strong boundaries. It helps them learn, creates confidence, and develops patience.
The keyboard tool-shaming crowd would say that your dog behaves because they are intimidated or frightened of you and the use of the tools. If it is the case that a dog is intimidated and cowered by their owner into performing behaviors, this isn’t dog training. This isn’t the tool being used. This is the person using the tool poorly and not building a motivating relationship with their dog. Put plainly, it’s abuse. Training with the use of tools allows for freedom and choices for dogs. It allows them to explore the human world with clear boundaries and expectations of behaviors. Dogs can choose what rewards them, and it’s our job to give them those earned rewards for good choices. Intimidation seeks full control, but tools provide freedom—and that’s how a dog lives its full life.
I would argue that the real intimidation comes from those whose ideology is so fragile they must bully well-meaning dog owners into not using tools. Making them feel less than or criminal for making the best decisions for their dog. They intimidate with the threat of legislation to get tools banned. They cannot admit that not only may the use of tools work, but also be more effective than what their ideology will allow. Therefore, they seek to ban the use altogether instead of simply showing that their work produces a better result. If they could really accomplish that, there would be no need for a tool ban. Alas, they cannot, so the intimidation continues.
Conclusion
Ultimately, we are responsible for the lives of our companions. We must be the ones in charge of our dog’s care and well-being. Domesticated dogs cannot survive on their own. We must show and teach them in ways they will understand. The use of training tools (prong, slip leads, e-collars) are excellent ways to teach when used and taught with the help of a dog training professional. It was my goal to lay out my training philosophy using the words the purely positive refrains of pain, fear, and intimidation. I have accomplished that, if for no one else, at least for myself. Train how you wish, so long as the welfare and safety of the dog is the first goal. But I will not back down when someone tries to demonize or ban my training or tools and their specific role in the training process. I am interested in giving my dogs and the dogs I train their best life; they are interested in righteous feelings and control over another’s choices. I will not sit idly by, and I will not go quietly into the night. If there’s something worth fighting for, it’s a cold nose and wagging tail. Cheers to all who are with me.